Counterpoint Beginner 1985

A celebration of mid-80s British life, bringing together everything that Britain has to offer for the language learner. Highlights include Milton Keynes and Jimmy Saville (who strangely looks exactly the same as he did until right before he died)

Not necessarily a joke I'd expect to see in more recent textbooks











"Someday son, we'll have our own football team and then we'll get the respect we deserve..."











A musty, rancid odour could be the first indicator of poor diet; be sure to perform a thorough self-examination at least once a month










"Upon realising somewhat belatedly that our elderly uncle hadn't returned from holiday 2 years ago after all, we decided that the most appropriate course of action would be to contact a popular magazine rather than, say, THE POLICE..."









What British textbook from the 1980s is complete without a section on unemployment?










Or a chapter on tea, for that matter? Note the thinly veiled suggestion that all non-English speakers are colossal alcoholics. Having travelled widely overseas I tend to agree with this.









I could go my entire life without ever seeing a tracksuit as awesome as this again. The fact that it contains Jimmy Saville and is therefore in all likelihood accompanied by matching Tea's Me tracksuit bottoms makes it even more wonderful...








And finally, my personal favourite; a unit dedicated to listing all the things that the disabled and religious minorities are unable to do.

This truly is how an Empire was forged...

English For Secretaries 1979

English for Secretaries: presumably part of a series of late 70s textbooks aimed squarely at the modern woman.  Other titles include English for Air Hostesses and English for Glamour Models.

Hiring policy explained...

 Why Mad Men UK never really took off.

 Just a normal part of a busy secretary's job; writing obituaries for your dead boss.  Okay, I can buy that...

 ... but correcting the Personnel Manager because he can't remember a thing about the guy?  That's a bit of a stretch..

 "It's a gramophone?"
"No, it's a pen"
"SHIT! I was going to say pen!"

Companies had significantly lower expectations of new employees in the 1970s.

(coincidentally this is virtually identical to the first lesson in the standard Japanese high school English textbook)

 Note to potential secretaries; you may be sexually harassed to the point where you feel you have no choice but to have an affair with your boss.  At least if the lunatic who spread these limericks throughout this textbook is to be believed.

 Your only ticket out of this miserable career before retirement?

Oh Jesus.